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Posted by apollo66942 on 07/30/99 12:01
During the course of his celebrated career, Rush Limbaugh invented the
term "adult beverages" to refer to alcoholic drinks so as not to
offend mothers with young children listening to the show. But no
insight was given on where to find the best dittohead adult beverages.
That's why I created The Dittohead's Guide to Adult Beverages, a
political humor book fans of the show will love.
Just try out these great recipes:
ENVIRONMENTALIST WACKO WHISKEY
Glass: Your Own Cupped Hands
Ingredients:
1 Part Triple Sec (as long as it wasn’t made in a wicked corporate
factory)
2 Parts Whiskey (homemade by Sierra Club members in an earth-friendly
distillery)
1 Part Grain Alcohol (flammable liquid used by the Earth Liberation
Front to burn SUVs)
1 Frozen Pond (the result of any number of man-made environmental
catastrophes)
1 Dolphin (the pinnacle of creation, according to environmentalist
wackos)
Instructions: First, cut several ice cubes from the surface of a
frozen pond (these should be abundant due to the smog effect blocking
the sun's rays in preparation for the coming ice age). Avoid using a
freezer to produce your ice cubes, because freezers are a capitalist-
concocted first cousin of man's worst enemy – the air conditioner.
Next, combine ingredients (along with your pond cubes) in your own
cupped hands. Don't you dare use a glass instead of your hands,
because the process of making glass destroys Mother Earth.
Origin: This adult beverage is named in honor of environmentalist
wackos, a fringe movement (not to be confused with serious and
responsible ecology-minded people) that believes mankind is the
greatest threat to nature, seeks to destroy private property, and
longs to establish a socialist regime to impose their nuttiness on the
rest of us.
Special Note: For years environmentalist wackos have told us that
dolphins are superior to humans – despite the absence of dolphin
highways, libraries, or institutions of higher learning. But for all
their supposed brilliance, I challenge any environmentalist wacko to
find a dolphin that can make an adult beverage as good as this one!
EL RUSHBO
Glass: A Highball Glass Emblazoned with the EIB Network Logo
Ingredients:
1 Part Rum (shares the first two letters of its name with Rush!)
2 Parts Blue Gatorade (consumed while playing a round of golf in honor
of Rush)
2 Parts Sprite (in recognition of
http://www.dontplayplay.com/html/Humor/20060929/25434.html
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