Posted by HellPopeHuey on 07/15/06 15:18

I went to see that damned movie and PHEWWEEEE! what a stench. The
acting is about as good as you could ask for, the effects are
outstanding and the soundtrack was a cut above.

However, the whole thing reeks of sniveling, emo-band breast-beating.
There's no damned humor in it, a gross oversight and its essentially a
giant chick-flick with none of the endearing attributes that rescue a
certain number of them from terminal insipidity. Aside from the
all-too-few super-power scenes, which do rock, its a buncha longing
looks, melodramatic shticks and retreaded, RETARDED classic Superman
sayings reworked so as not to offend the politically-correct
puckerbutts. Its almost like Goethe's "The Sorrows of Young Werther" in
red and blue tights.

One of the biggest stinks is several visuals and bits of dialogue that
are a revolting sop to the Christian crowd that keeps pressing us all
forward into dynamic mediocrity. Its SUPERMAN, NOT FUCKING DAMNED JESUS.
You might as well press raccoon crap into discs as make DVDs of this
wimptastic cod's wallop.

The real offense of it is that it really TRIES to be a good flick and
it has many of the overtones one would associate with same. It does flow
well and a lot of obvious craft went into it, but it fails on so many
counts, even a fanboy should be revolted. Its also 30 minutes too long.
I knew it was a flop when I realized my mind had wandered enough to be
thinking about dinner and whatever had my shoe stuck to the floor.

"Batman Begins" had balls; "Superman Returns" has a floppy vagina.

--

HellPope Huey
Simple Simon met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb #$%!"

A reputation once broken may possibly be repaired,
but the world will always keep their eyes
on the spot where the crack was.
~ Joseph Hall

So, is mainlining dog testosterone
working out well for you then?
~ Saint Joe Cosby

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