|
|
Posted by nu-monet v9.0 on 07/15/06 16:16
HellPopeHuey wrote:
>
> I went to see that damned movie and PHEWWEEEE!
> what a stench.
Hollywood can no longer make a Superman movie.
1) Showing a happy super-patriot who mouths patriotic
slogans and *means* it gives them a bleeding ulcer.
They equate that with everything they hate. It makes
their hair fall out and gums bleed like radiation
poisoning. Superman is a Kryptonese-American. He is
also a bigot and a xenophobe. And, if Superman ever
arrests somebody, he just drops them in a prison yard
and they are guilty. No trial or anything. They get
life, automatically, I guess.
2) Superman is a neuter. He doesn't want to boink
Lois Lane, ever, because to him that is the same as
beastiality. Plus, being an alien, he probably has a
barbed penis like a cat. He would rip out the uterus or
anus of any human female he porked.
3) To Hollywood, Superman can be Jesus. But a secular
one. He does all the miracles Jesus could do and more,
but he doesn't say you have to believe in god. In fact,
Superman is more of a god than god, because he will kick
your ass if you don't do what he tells you to do. No
other god does that.
4) Even back in the original Superman cartoon, it was
made with a socialist-realism look. I tell you, they
just cannot let Superman be Superman. In those old
cartoons, he looks like Uberman.
5) In the Christopher Reeve Superman, they laughed at
his patriotism, and were going great with his super
powers until they made him do the god thing. The movie
would have been a hell of a lot better with less super
powers. What villain can even have a chance fighting
god? If Lex Luthor had a henchman like Jackie Chan or
Cynthia Rothrock, who would ineffectively kung-fu the
piss out of him, but maybe knock him over with a sneaky
sledge hammer to the back of the head, it would have
been extra cool. And why not tip bullets with
kryptonite? Really put Superman's life at risk.
6) Nuclear weapons are for The Hulk, and guys like
that. The one superhero you *never* mix with nukes is
Superman. So of course, that is the one movie where
they use nukes. Dumbasses. Peter Parker was bit by a
radioactive spider, not some Monsanto DNA modded
agribusiness abomination.
7) Jimmy Olsen has got to be the most useless individual
ever. WTF is up with him?
--
Be Sure To Visit the 'SubGenius Reverend' Blog:
http://slackoff.blogspot.com/
***********
Herring communicate with each other
via a high-pitched, "raspberry"-like
sound emitted from their anuses.
These noises are not produced by
digestive gases.
-- from 'The New Scientist'
Navigation:
[Reply to this message]
|