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Posted by POD {ҿ} on 12/21/06 23:40
With Christmas almost upon us, I'd like to extend my heartfelt
appreciation to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send
me "forwards" over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy. Extra
thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue on
envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to
seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because
of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know it
can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing
characteristic. I no longer check the coin return on public phones
because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
wild boar on a hot day. I no longer go to shopping centres because
someone might drug me with a cologne sample and rob me. I no longer eat
KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no
eyes or feathers.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 363,214
angels looking out for me. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only
answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and
make a wish within five minutes. I no longer have any savings because I
gave it to a sick girl on the internet who is about to die in the
hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I
receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special on-line email program.
Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will
now return the favour!>If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000
people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of
diahorrea will land on your head at 5:00PM (EST) this afternoon. I know
this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door
neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
Ciao suckers
--
Thank you kindly
POD {ҿ}
.`..`..`..`..`..`..`.
Oh people, know that you have committed great sins.
If you ask me what proof I have for these words,
I say it is because I am the punishment of God.
If you had not committed great sins,
God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.
.`..`..`..`..`..`..`.
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